it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
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If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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