there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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