My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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