Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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