I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
