I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
