her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if only i could text you this smell
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
