We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
