i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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