Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
