Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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