Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
