You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
