my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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