So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
