we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
