these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
