its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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