just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
