Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
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classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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as a side note pls kill me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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