just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
