Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
