THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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