Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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