At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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