i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
