What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize