he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
