The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize