these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
