i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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