you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
