I am full of burrito and curiosity
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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