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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  actually, i try not to think about it

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and i pooped them out

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

  Fav 28 12614 1004

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (979): View more from Texas

  For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You. Win. At. Life.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior. 

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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• 

  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  How did you tell her we met?

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.

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