Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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  (403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong. http://tfl.nu/sr7f
  Replies (19) Good night (2370) Bad night (969)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he looks like a really good dad on facebook

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  (704): he looks like a really good dad on facebook http://tfl.nu/pzsa
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (3698)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life

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  (720): just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life http://tfl.nu/vlqm
  Replies (48) Good night (6082) Bad night (2539)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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  (817): He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house http://tfl.nu/yyye
  Replies (51) Good night (14830) Bad night (1994)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (3576)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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  (318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and then ....

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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  (215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h
  Replies (24) Good night (6096) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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  (780): I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/raiw
  Replies (9) Good night (2390) Bad night (1352)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...

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  (219): ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference... http://tfl.nu/jx5w
  Replies (15) Good night (7290) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1233) Bad night (2983)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?

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  (705): I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan? http://tfl.nu/r3wz
  Replies (5) Good night (1259) Bad night (1922)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.

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  (865): He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW. http://tfl.nu/b38y
  Replies (16) Good night (2767) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  How are ur friends?

  (512): View more from Texas

  One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car

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  (214): How are ur friends? (512): One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car http://tfl.nu/yl37
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.

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  (423): I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free. http://tfl.nu/3xxx
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (275)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

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  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (310)

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