Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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  (250): This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this http://tfl.nu/tv14
  Replies (8) Good night (2552) Bad night (859)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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  (303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper. http://tfl.nu/rq4b
  Replies (68) Good night (9077) Bad night (864)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Her vagina should come with caution tape.

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  (248): Her vagina should come with caution tape. http://tfl.nu/ca9x
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (4546)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Seriously?

  (305): View more from Florida

  100%

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  (305): I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox? (1-305): Seriously? (305): 100% http://tfl.nu/w2fu
  Replies (15) Good night (6954) Bad night (1279)
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  (909): View more from California

  Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?

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  (909): Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person? http://tfl.nu/yet0
  Replies (8) Good night (4066) Bad night (1475)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

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  (807): I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick http://tfl.nu/2mmx
  Replies (6) Good night (3775) Bad night (969)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.

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  (609): I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens. http://tfl.nu/uou3
  Replies (8) Good night (2565) Bad night (1408)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother

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  (816): All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother http://tfl.nu/4v9d
  Replies (11) Good night (2170) Bad night (2977)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

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  (850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs
  Replies (5) Good night (1726) Bad night (743)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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  (306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1302) Bad night (590)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I remember it like it was tomorrow.

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  (860): Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love (1-860): I remember it like it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1n7o
  Replies (2) Good night (2358) Bad night (640)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

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  (775): You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper... http://tfl.nu/b471
  Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (1213)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.

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  (334): He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini. http://tfl.nu/97p2
  Replies (8) Good night (711) Bad night (351)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you

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  (505): Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you http://tfl.nu/jh87
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (215)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here

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  (203): This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here http://tfl.nu/j6yq
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (142)

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