Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
