now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo