Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6889) Bad night (1320)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text

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  (503): i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text http://tfl.nu/7lw4
  Replies (5) Good night (4907) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.

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  (281): Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes. http://tfl.nu/y77d
  Replies (11) Good night (966) Bad night (4195)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

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  (519): he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job http://tfl.nu/3g10
  Replies (8) Good night (858) Bad night (3760)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3947) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.

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  (573): I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt. http://tfl.nu/esr9
  Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.

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  (949): He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men. http://tfl.nu/p93f
  Replies (32) Good night (3702) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?

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  (909): Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs? http://tfl.nu/7n3l
  Replies (8) Good night (1656) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free

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  (708): And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free http://tfl.nu/lgkw
  Replies (4) Good night (1909) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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  (803): this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie http://tfl.nu/26xl
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(

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  (530): they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :( http://tfl.nu/bt8b
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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  (972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie
  Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.

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  (469): The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us. http://tfl.nu/te9o
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (444)

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