Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
