I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
