Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
