he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
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