I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
