I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
