his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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