I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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