i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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