found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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