I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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