my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
