I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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