can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
