And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
