Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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