He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
