I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
