i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
