That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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