YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Michael Bay diarrhea
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
