so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
