Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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