He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
