Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (7244) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4619) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong. http://tfl.nu/ln52
  Replies (29) Good night (9438) Bad night (1622)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh
  Replies (10) Good night (3961) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child. http://tfl.nu/d3n6
  Replies (4) Good night (2927) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over. http://tfl.nu/mynf
  Replies (1) Good night (1913) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e
  Replies (11) Good night (567) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS" http://tfl.nu/3w8r
  Replies (14) Good night (1350) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad http://tfl.nu/ib2e
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis http://tfl.nu/jni6
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius. http://tfl.nu/mef6
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys. http://tfl.nu/x76x
  Replies (11) Good night (534) Bad night (870)

Randomize