I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize