I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl