just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
